Even before the bed wedge, and before I started taking Ambien regularly, I had these dreams from time to time.

Usually they were dreams about someone taking care of me while I was in bed. Kind of like a parent, actually. Fussing over me. Rubbing my back, proposing to read stories (I never remember the stories), and suchlike.

The weird thing is that none of that ever happened. My parents never fussed over me, never touched me in any way that was not either painful or uncomfortable (usually because of pain), and never, ever, ever read me stories or even encourage me to read outside of school.

The dreams usually come when I’m falling asleep, and then I wake up, and confess I am a bit teary-eyed when I find out they’re not real. (I’m tearing up right now just thinking about these.)

Of course, after I wake up, usually in the wee hours of the morning, something like a small PTSD episode grips me, and then the rest of the night is a sort of insomnia hell. I don’t understand that either.

Anyways, that is why I take Ambien.