I Can Understand Now Why People Want Mania

Basically, they want to experience this:

From my new point of view, on Abilify, I no longer have these highs. I’m no longer “a shooting star leaping through the sky, like a tiger, defying the laws of gravity”; nor “a racing car, passing by like Lady Godiva, I’m gonna go, go, go, there’s no stopping me!” ((Queen, “Don’t Stop Me Now”)), but I’m quite fine with this. For me, the result of burning out far, far outweighs the benefit of the mania. Not that the mania was always a benefit either; the PTSD will trigger in either manic or depressive phases, just differently. The manic version tends to be a lot more violent and actively paranoid.

Ah well. I’m boring now. Except for the times when the Abilify malfunctions. Goddamned estrogen.

By the way, thank you for the perfumed/aromatherapic bath products recommendations. I’m going to check them out, because this all really can’t go on.

About these ads