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Category Archives: Kindlelicious

Reviews of books that happen to be available on the Kindle.

Matches & Matrimony: I Have TOO Not Lost My Mind

Matches & Matrimony: I Have TOO Not Lost My Mind

So I discovered Matches & Matrimony, a dating sim game 1 involving at least three Jane Austen books with most of the plot being provided by Pride and Prejudice, through Angie Gallant’s Let’s Play thread. 2

So why not? Especially since, not only is it available for Mac and Windows (and is probably simple enough to work on Wine), but it’s also available for just a couple bucks as Kindle Active Content.

WHY NOT INDEED.

The graphics are hilarious for the most part. That up there is my father, a sarcastic wit who needs to rein in his youngest daughter Lydianne 3, and my mother, a silly nitwit who is Lydianne in grown-up form. 4

I’ll note from the start that the Kindle version puts a lot of text together instead of making you step through every single speaking part. This helps in all cases except for Mr. Collins. Well, technically it helps the most in his case.

You play as the second Bennet daughter, and your goal is to get married to the eligible bachelor of your choice. The flow of the game is like this:

  • Schedule activities for each weekday to raise certain of your stats (studying the arts will, for instance, increase your Talent and Sensibility, whereas going for walks will raise your willpower and reduce your propriety; most activities will also reduce your available energy).

  • Over the weekend days, you experience adventures where you get to select choices, some of which will not be available if you don’t have the appropriate stat raised to a certain level.

  • Your decisions affect what happens to the attachment/friendship levels from various other characters, and sometimes your stats.

A lot of the text is straight out from Pride & Prejudice and other Austen books, so the writing isn’t anywhere near as painful as it is for most dating sim games, and thus is actually witty, literate, and moving. There’s a surprising amount of strategy to the game—it’s not a simple dating sim rip-off, you have to actually work for each of the endings that aren’t “You, alone for the rest of your life, become Jane Austen.” Except you don’t need to work very hard to get Mr. Collins; he is an ending, but if you’re not careful, he cuts you off from the other eight endings. Truly, Mr. Collins is a first level boss if you care for anyone other than him, and you most likely will.

The Darcy endings (there are two) are the most difficult in the game to achieve, as in the game there’s no indicator whether what you just did made him like you more or less; you’ll only know at the end of a stage chapter how well you’re doing on his attachment meter. Fortunately, after your first play through, you can ask for help on each of the bachelors. You’ll need it particularly when aiming for Darcy, but you can steal Bingley from Jane, persist with the unwise action of pursuing Wickeby (aka, Wickham), pursue other bachelors from other Jane Austen books, and, yes, if you really can’t help it, marry Mr. Collins.

*shudder*

Where was I? Oh yes. This game is actually educational. After you reach the Darcy #2 ending you will have quite a thorough understanding of how their love story works—as the help says, it’s not Romeo & Juliet; both characters are flawed, and how they develop together is important to getting to the best end. Dare I say it, I found myself appreciating the original story of Pride & Prejudice on a deeper level afterwards.

I had rather a lot of fun playing this game, and it was well worth the $2.

If you’re a Jane Austen fan, like the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure genre, and don’t feel shy about resorting to a walkthrough when frustrated, I highly recommend this game.

Also, after this game, I appreciated the early (and fairly humiliating) killing of Mr. Collins in The Darcys of Pemberley. TAKE THAT, GUY WHO SAYS NO MEANS YES.

Notes:

  1. There are dating sims for guys and dating sims for gals. Each sub-genre has different tropes, and the study of the differences and similarities, plus their general ignorance of anything other than straight relationships, would probably make for an interesting thesis for somebody. [back]
  2. Of course, I discovered that thread through her Hatoful Boyfriend Let’s Play, an apocalyptic future pigeon dating sim. It’s a send-up of every trope in the for-women dating sim sub-genre and a thread I suggest you not read while simultaneously drinking something. [back]
  3. Yes, there’s an amalgamation of certain Austen characters together. [back]
  4. If you’ve been reading my blog for a certain amount of time, you know that these are infinite steps up from my biological parents. [back]

Kindlelicious: Snuff (Terry Pratchett) Review

Kindlelicious: Snuff (Terry Pratchett) Review

When Snuff dropped onto my Kindle a little after October 11th 12:01am EST, I was like a kid with a Hogswatch present. To tell the truth, I thought that I Shall Wear Midnight would be Terry Pratchett’s last book, so I was deeply pleased and grateful to see this one. And a City Watch book, too! It was like getting a Carrot-action-figure-shaped present in my stocking.

But when I unwrapped the gift, what I got instead was a painstakingly crafted sextent featuring inset carvings of scenes throughout the history of Discworld and the Watch.

Which all is to say that I got quite a different book from what I was expecting. Snuff, for all that its title resembles that of its predecessor Thud!, is a dragon of a different hue indeed. In many ways, Snuff‘s texture in terms of pacing and seriousness is far more like that of Nation than previous jaunts with the Watch. Actually, what’s probably closer is Unseen Academicals. 1

Terry Pratchett is working with one main thread this time, which means that this book is an extremely Vimes-heavy one (not the first time; consider Night Watch) and most of it takes place in the slower, meandering countryside. We see very little of the rest of the Watch, which is a shame, even if Fred Colon does manage to link the country story and the city story together. We do get to see a lot of Sybil and especially of Young Sam and Willikins, both of whom have developed nicely, even if Willikins does talk rather more than I remember him in the past. In fact, many characters tend to run in the mouth and the monologue, including Vimes and Vetinari; but I chalk it down to us becoming more familiar with the characters—that is, we are thrust into situations where we see them with their hair down more often. Or, in Vetinari’s case, waging war against the newspaper crossword lady.

The central matter of the plot is what is at the core of many of Pratchett’s books: prejudice and culture. We get an even firmer tackling of the matter of the goblin race than we did in Unseen Academicals; instead of focusing on an individual, we look at the treatment of the goblins as a people (or, rather, as other people thought of them, vermin). It’s more raw and ugly than any mistreatment thus far of any of the peoples of Discworld, even the lot of golems, who never have to contemplate much less execute the dreadful algebra of necessity that the goblins are pushed to, nor are bodily and spiritually broken on plantations. I’m glad that Terry’s wrapping up this loose end of the Discworld saga; the idea that goblins would never get just ice would otherwise be cruel even for a fictional creation.

Pratchett also takes us on a tour of the countryside, and how different it is from the city. I can’t say that I’m enamored of the field trip because of the drag on the pacing it introduces, but Sam Vimes is Sam Vimes no matter where you put him, and seeing the chemical reactions when you plonk him down in various country situations (from visiting a woman with a crop of eligible young ladies who need husbands and/or lives, to balls, to the local pub). The most interesting part for me was the development of a bond between Willikins and Vimes, and also how much terror there is in a steel-tooth comb. And it’s nice to see confirmation that there is indeed an old Lord Rust and a younger Lord Gravid 2 Rust. Now that I come to reflect on it, there was such a lot of development in the countryside, and somehow I feel like there could have been much more, but that would have led to a bloated book. And the monologues run long enough already.

In fact, the time we spend in the countryside, necessary though it is, lends a weird curve to the pacing of this book: it starts slow, only starts speeding up a bit before 1/3rd of the book has passed (what with attempted arrests of Vimes by the local “police force” and taking over riverboats on a stormy stretch of the river Old Treachery), and then slows down again where I’d usually expect the climax to be (only it’s occurred a good chunk of pages before). Don’t expect a racing adventure for all of the book—like Vimes, you’re going to be spending some time putting your feet down in the good paranoid muck of the country and, afterwards, the Quirm zoo.

I remember Pratchett once saying that Discworld was getting a bit crowded, and I can see where he’s coming from; when you build in references to all the books previous that occurred in Ankh-Morpork—and you have to, because this is all happening within the context of characters from Ankh-Morpork—you cover almost a good quarter of the book alone with that. It would have been a bit worse had events occurred in Ankh-Morpork. And I kept expecting Death to appear, but he doesn’t appear even once. This really is a different breed of Discworld novel.

In the end, I’m not sure whether Snuff is nearly the best Watch book out there 3, or if it’s the worst Watch book out there. It’s nothing like I expected, which is of course not the measure of a good book, and there’s much to appreciate. But I can’t help thinking it could somehow have been a tighter book, and that more development to the city part of the story could have been done so that all of the Watch could have been more integrated.

If I look at Snuff as a Vimes book, I’m happy. If I try to find my Carrot action-figure, I’m hopelessly disappointed. 4 Both of these are to be expected.

And maybe, because of practicalities involving the heaviness of using the world that is Ankh-Morpork’s City Watch, there can’t ever be any more Watch books. And now that we’ve experienced the countryside from Vimes’ perspective, maybe there can’t ever be any more Vimes books either. Maybe this is how the City Watch series ends—with a Snuff and a Thud!.

I’ll be listening to this book when the audio edition comes out.

Note: There’s one severe formatting error with this book: the word “people” is mashed with the word or punctuation previous to it, like “somepeople” and “thosepeople” and “end.people”. Someone at HarperCollins was almost certainly doing a global search-and-replace, because this is virtually the only kind of typo in the whole damn book.

Notes:

  1. My review here. [back]
  2. Snicker. [back]
  3. The absolute best Watch book would involve all of the Watch, and for me this was Thud! [back]
  4. Hell, like a certain other dwarf, I also carry a torch for the Carrot. [back]

Kindlelicious: The Genius Wars Review

Kindlelicious: The Genius Wars Review

Very often one worries about how book series will end: does it all end with a bang? Does it end with a pile of crumpled kleenex next to you? Does it simply stop and assume the adventure goes on? Or is there no ending at all (arguably the worst of the possibilities, there being nothing so bad as being left hanging where storytelling is concerned)?

While Catherine Jinks’ The Genius Wars does bring the Genius series (Evil Genius, Genius Squad) to an end, she does it with an emotional bang rather than one bearing C4 and AK-47s. And what an emotional bang.

But that was always the heart of the series, as it turns out.

Among YA adventure series, Genius stands out as a fairly realistic portrayal of what can actually be accomplished today by a very determined and brilliant teenager, with a few tweaks here and there. It has more in common with Cory Doctorow’s Little Brother than with Artemis Fowl, where computer hacking technology really is explained. The Genius Wars features, at its core, a computer graphics gimmick, but that core is surrounded by wardriving, tapping into wireless networks, exposing buffer overflow exploits, and the difference in mindset beteween hackers and developers (well, most of the time).

These topics aren’t delved into as deeply as they are in Little Brother, but they do set up a grounded backdrop for the core of the story: the relationship between fathers and sons. And boy, is that ever complicated in the Genius series.

Our protagonist, Cadel, can be thought of as having five fathers by this point in time:

  • an initial adoptive father (and mother) who didn’t value his life any farther than “his old man will have us killed if we don’t take care of him,” unrevealed until the early evenings of Evil Genius;

  • an old crime boss and professed evil genius in life imprisonment, who directed the manipulation of Cadel’s life to raise him up as evil heir apparent;

  • a small-time crook who turned out to be Cadel’s “real” biological father;

  • Saul Greenius, new adoptive father and, ever since the start of the series, a policeman covering the international case involving Cadel and….

  • Prosper English, who did the actual manipulation of events around Cadel’s childhood, a supposed psychologist who more directly raised Cadel for the longest period than anybody else.

Each father has left their mark (scars, really, in the case of everybody except Greenius), but Prosper English rises above them all as a sinister, dangerous figure who dupes everyone and is always several steps ahead of the game. Always. You can never trust him, he lies as naturally as he sips a fine glass of riesling, and he is utterly merciless and self-serving. His reach is unnerving, and his motives at times inscrutable. He’s far smarter than Voldemort would ever be, and more insidius than Count Olaf could ever manage. If English ever feels that he must get you out of the way… nothing will stop him.

And naturally by this point in time, Cadel is a danger to him, knowing his ways and having actively helped the police in the past. But no longer; Cadel now wants to lead a normal life in the custody of Saul Greenius, and no longer wants to track down Prosper and thus become a target.

Yes. Fat chance of that happening, with the stakes already miles high when the book opens. And what transpires is worse than what almost every Roald Dahl villain manages ((Almost. We are talking about Roald Dahl here.)) as Cadel’s new life is violently blasted away person by person. And the way he responds increases his fears that he’s just like English—the last person he wants to resemble. It’s great how he does get called on his shit eventually as the book progresses, partially deconstructing the Adults Are Useless trope normally employed vigorously by YA adventures.

The ending is quite special. It can be read in mainly two ways, but in either reading it all ends badly for Cadel’s heart. I wouldn’t exactly call this, as Jinks has claimed, the settling of the matter between Prosper and Cadel. There’s an opening for more, I think, no matter how human Prosper has become in our eyes during the last third of the book, but sadly there is no more.

My main disappointment with the book is the lack of more Sonja and Cadel scenes. Sonja is an interesting character all by herself; she’s afflicted with severe cerebral palsy and needs a Stephen Hawking set-up to even communicate with those around her, and is very restricted in self-movement if removed from her motorized wheelchair. But she’s smart, was a member of the Genius Squad previous, and has a knack for encryption and math that far exceeds Cadel’s not insignificant own. And in spite of all her physical limitations (up to and including needing feeding and diapers), Cadel loves her. This is beautiful and we rarely, if ever, see its like in fiction, where most people are movie stars.

Some kind of epilogue, showing the future relationship between Cadel and Sonja, would be more than welcome. But alas, this is all we’re ever going to get outside of fan fiction.

Kindlelicious: Guards! Guards! Review

I’m re-reading Terry Pratchett’s Guards! Guards! for the nth time in celebration of the upcoming release of Snuff, likely the last of the City Watch Discworld sub-series. And as both a writer and reader, I’m enjoying his craft even at so early a stage in his career. Let me count the ways:

  • Pratchett very rarely uses cliches. He almost always comes up with new ways of description, of dialogue, of action, that still read fresh years later.

  • A lot of this stems mostly from his creative and wry humor (itself a difficult feat to pull off in writing), as well from having unique characters sweeping across the stage—even his secondary characters have had attention paid to them, even tertiary roles as well. I swear, some of these scenes must have written themselves.

  • For a humorous fantasy action piece, Pratchett spends a lot of time deconstructing various tropes, from both the fantasy genre and literature in general, such as the hero/protaganist (that’d be both Carrot, who might have starred in any other work), the ruling tyrant/villain (Vetinari could even be considered an odd kind of anti-hero, especially as the City Watch books develop), nature’s adversary (the dragon), dragons in general… and, of course, background stereotypes such as guards.

  • Pratchett also spends time philosophising on the darker side of human nature—mundane darkness at that, rather than black-and-white morality—as well as government in relation to this, adding a depth that’s at the same time subtle and doesn’t get in the way of the rollicking story.

  • One of Pratchett’s main characters, Lady Ramkin, is fat. But her body shape is never put in a bad light (again, creative description comes to the forefront, such as comparing her to an inspiring galleon), she herself is not portrayed as lazy and, indeed, has total agency and is morally outstanding. In so many other books she would have been shunted off from main character status, certainly never becoming a love interest.

  • Lady Ramkin’s role as love interest is not wholly her role either, and the romance between her and Vimes develops naturally throughout the book. It’s an imperfect love, such as might be found in real life, rather than an utterly romantic one, and it doesn’t progress to asking for her hand in marriage or whatnot (unlike other books I could mention). It’s human, it’s not a fairytale; it’s realistic.

While Guards! Guards! is very re-readable in nature (like many Pratchett books, because of the humor and additional depths), this may be the last time I ever read it. It’s been once a year for over 10 years now, more mileage than 99% of the books out there.

The audio book will either grate on you or not, depending on whether you like Nigel Planer or prefer Stephen Briggs. I prefer Briggs, but Planer is passable for me, at least.

New Post at Tor.com: Review: Charles Stross’s The Fuller Memorandum

New Post at Tor.com: Review: Charles Stross’s The Fuller Memorandum

“This is the story of how I lost my atheism, and why I wish I could regain it. This is the story of the people who lost their lives in an alien desert bathed by the hideous radiance of a dead sun, and the love that was lost and the terror that wakes me up in a cold sweat about once a week, clawing at the sheets with cramping fingers and drool on my chin. It’s why Mo and I aren’t living together right now, why my right arm doesn’t work properly, and I’m toiling late into the night, trying to bury the smoking wreckage of my life beneath a heap of work.”

    —Bob Howard, The Fuller Memorandum

You could sum up Charles Stross’ The Laundry Files series as “Dilbert meets Cthulhu,” but while I’ve never been much of a fan of Dilbert (though Scott Adams’ strips are funny and often too apt), I am a total fan of Bob Howard. It’s not just that I identify with him, a former young, talented hacker who would have been at home in Linux/BSD open source projects, and who’s now been co-opted into The System. It’s not just that I sympathize and sometimes cringe with his more normal day-to-day trials and tribulations, which any office worker slaving away in a cubicle would be familiar with.

It’s because his job is to kick the ass of supernatural threats to the entire world, and he does it from the worldview of a sarcastic, down-to-earth working stiff who happens to know about recursive algorithms, stack traces, and VMS. And those things—that ultra, deep-down tech nerdy knowledge—are actually useful for the exorcism of demons, the stopping of incursions of the Elder Gods, etc.

[Continued at Tor.com...] Also, Charles Stross himself shows up in the comments with a small foreshadowing on The Apocalypse Codex!

New Post at Tor.com: Review — Unseen Academicals

Terry Pratchett’s Unseen Academicals is about the parallel development of football (soccer, to Americans) in the alternate and funnier reality that is the Discworld; yet as always, there’s much more swimming in the depths of his Monty Python-esque stories. Humorous but thoughtful, Unseen Academicals combines early Pratchett at his lightest (Pyramids, Moving Pictures, Guards! Guards!) with late Pratchett at his heaviest (Monstrous Regiment, Night Watch, Thud!), resulting in an easy read with a heavy afterthought.

[Oh Terry Pratchett, when will you ever be easy to review?]

New Review on Tor.com: Ghost Ocean by S. M. Peters

New Review on Tor.com: Ghost Ocean by S. M. Peters

Ghost Ocean “Good, now listen…. The Warden couldn’t have the myth-creatures from the old world wandering around and breaking all of his rules, so he made prisons for them. Cities and caves and deserts and stretches of ocean—most of them inhospitable chunks of the planet no one in their right mind would go to…. The point is, St. Ives is one of those places.”
    – Babu Cherion, former Bostonian and paranormal investigator who really, really regrets relocating

Ghost Ocean: a title that understates what all is going on in S. M. Peters’ newest novel. In a way, Ghost Ocean (Roc) is a new take on the urban paranormal; but in other ways, you could consider it a rebirth of an older style of city fantasy.

The small town of St. Ives reminds me of a darker Charles de Lint setting: there are gods and creatures of imagination around every street corner, sometimes literally, often taking on the guise of your kindly next-door neighbor. But in Peters’ St. Ives, the supernaturals’ motivations are twisted by the fact that not only are they out of place in a modern world that doesn’t understand them, but that where they live, even what they are now, is a result of being bound to St. Ives. Not all prisons are cages.

[Read more...]

New Review at Tor.com: The Orphan’s Tales

New Review at Tor.com: The Orphan’s Tales

The Orphan's Tales: In the Night Garden A mysterious girl in the royal extended family, some say a demon because of disturbing markings around her eyes, is banished from the palace. A very young prince discovers her living in the gardens on the kindness of servants.

Like all princes, even ones that don’t reach the waist of their eldest sister, he wants to save her. But the only way to remove the demon’s markings from her eyes is for her to tell, bit by bit, the stories written upon them.

Thus begins The Orphan’s Tales, a well-woven tapestry of fairytales-within-fairytales in the world of Ajanabh, both like and unlike its inspiration, The Arabian Nights.

[Continue reading...]

New Tor.com Review: Bringing the House Down – Norse Code

New Tor.com Review: Bringing the House Down – Norse Code

Norse Code It’s the end of the world like you’ve never known it: snarky and sassy with strangely touching moments weaved into a quick-moving story, Greg van Eekhout’s Norse Code manages to turn a fresh edge on old myths. And it’s probably the only re-weaving of Ragnarok where the poor blind guy, the one who started the countdown to Doomsday, is actually a sympathetic and participatory character rather than a footnote in lore.

[What does Norse Code get right?]

New Review at Tor.com: Tides from the New Worlds

Tides from the New Worlds

In Tides from the New Worlds, Tobias Buckell does what the best SF/F writers do: tells stories that touch our minds with wonder and endow our hearts with perception. Reading this collection, for those of us culture-bound West or East, brings science fiction and fantasy to a fresh awakening. And for those of us who miss seeing ourselves in the fiction we so often read, it’s quite moving.

[Continue reading...]

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