Woke up early for just about no reason at all. Perhaps not that strange, since I spent a lot of nightmare recovery time over the weekend sleeping. Maybe it’s because the sun is out too early in the Pacific Northwest these days. But waking early has not been my modus operendi for weeks.
I still have the inopportune thoughts of course—my memories of my father screaming at me that he wished I had never been born, one of the rather numerous times at that, are about as common as, perhaps, more normal people remembering some encouraging moment or saying, maybe funny, from their dad.
It’s just that the memories don’t stop me like they did the week before and some days after Father’s Day. I really must start scheduling vacation time during this time in the future, since I’m not effective at work at times like these. To say the least. Usually I can just move past them. Usually.
Part of my brain wants to seriously snark at the other parts, “Oh, so you thought that something like Father’s Day wasn’t going to mess you up at all.”
The truth is… I really didn’t think it would. Even after years of this. I may well forget again next year; maybe I ought to set up a recurring reminder in my iPhone calendar….
It’s another week (or, rather, another half-month, if I count the days I’m going to have to redo work from). And… now I need to prepare for a big meeting. Joy. I like my job much better when I just code. At least you don’t get humiliated after a week like this.
At least it’s tomorrow. So it’ll probably be a good day.
I hope you have a good day, too.
2 thoughts on “A More Optimistic Today”
I hope your renewed optimism sticks around. You may not realize this, but you are touching many of us out there, not just with the heavy posts, but also the book reviews, coding tips, and kindle commentary. We support you, and hope you are doing well. I know that I feel awkward, and worry about coming across like a condescending prat if I type a commentary in response to you bearing your soul on the screen. I think I speak (type?) for many of your readers in this – know that we appreciate you and want nothing but the best for you.
I don’t know how to say this exactly, but “thank you” is just the start of it. :)
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