Last night the setup was thus: at the top of the wedge, Ike sat, and in my arms, the Overcow was snuggled.
Result this morning: dreams I don’t remember anymore, except that they involved a lot of running; and nothing like the panic of yesterday morning’s really weird juxtaposition of boredom and terror. Just sort of ho, hum, another morning. Not even Thank Gods the Dream Has Stopped. Hm.
I still suck at holding onto the Overcow, who fell off the bed, possibly due to fighting demons, I don’t know. She seems to be okay and still have a soul. And still snuggly.
Apparently Cozy Cow, Travel Liaison, may arrive as soon as tomorrow. Large Round Cow may come in mid-next-week.
Also, so that no confusion is had with respect to suggestions of brands for new cows to add to the Overherd:
The Overherd will never contain Ty Beanie Baby cows, anything with a Ty label, or Beanie Baby ripoffs. Not their fault, they just FUCKING TRIGGER ME.
You think the My Little Pony bribes by my mother when I was little to… not freak out about my father beating us up and threatening to kill me and strangling me ((Just once. Once is enough. Once is enough to bring nightmares for decades, if they ever, ever stop. Once is enough to never want to have people touch your neck and shoulders ever, ever again, not even for love. Once is enough to ruin a life.)) and pouring boiling water over my hands because his soup wasn’t warm enough…. you think those were bad?
Okay, they were bad.
But when I went to college, she switched to Beanie Babies. And oh my gods, college, college, college….
Guess what arrived in tandem with the death threats while they still knew my dorm’s address?
Oh my gods.
Anyways. Such is my hilariously abusive past.
And now we will try to drink tea and work.
4 thoughts on “Day 9 with the Overherd”
i’ve been reading this for the echo bazaar posts (yeah heart’s desire!), but lurking on the pstd ones too. you really describe what it’s like, in a way i haven’t read before. it’s scary, but also really comforting, so thanks. :)
anyway, i just had to comment, because what you said about once being enough is so spot on. i’ve had people tell me my mother isn’t physically abusive, because she only hit me once. once is all it takes, & very few people understand that.
You’re welcome. :)
I think people are scared that one of anything is all it takes.
Well, one of some things. Maybe said people are failing to grasp the difference between mistakes of judgment and the fundamental betrayal of deliberately attacking one’s child.
Overherd: the distributed-defense Dream Team.
Likely true. We humans generalize a lot. I certainly do. (To this day I have a very difficult time with the knowledge that a fair number of parents are not as insane as mine, while being sometimes annoying in their own rights—just not as badly. It weirds me out, probably as much as my parents’ existence weirds out some other people.)
I hug the two current members of the Overherd so much over even the past few days. I worry about wearing down individual members, so the more the merrier, I think.
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