It seems to have worked! At least, thus far.
With nothing in my stomach, even retching, I wasn’t afraid to tuck the entire Overherd (except for Lulu, drying on her rack and keeping lookout) in next to me. Even Ike. I fell asleep after my kindle began its oddly monotone yet passionate tirade about Star Trek: Insurrection.
Didn’t even get to the point of lights out.
When I woke up, everyone was still mostly in place, save for LRC, who had eclipsed the nightstand lamp light. So I still had the light, but it didn’t give me a headache.
No nightmares that I can recall. I still had one of my drive-around-aimlessly-in-unknown-country during the Years of Zorn and Tharn. But those are among my most survivable dreams.
Lunch is packed. I’m having trouble with touch-typing, executing steps in a plan, peeling oranges, cutting fruit with a knife. Handling utensils. Buttons even. Walking is like being drunk, and there’s a fair chance I’ll need to crawl down the stairs.
I can always drive pretty well, though, even if everything else about my thought processes have gone haywire. Explain that, gods! Explain! No, but I’m thankful regardless.
I would ask a friend to come help with the fruit later, except they don’t want to be near me with during this delicate time. Or have me visit. Or talk to me in any way. Or take me out anywhere. Etc.
Fair enough. Three years since a full-fledged flashback is not enough space. No one wants to help someone like me up close. I don’t deserve it anyways.
But on the other hand, my fruit will rot. Not sure what to do there; any suggestions welcome. Do they sell like fruit choppers without exposed blades? I mean, gods, from what I recall of TV commercials they sell everything. You know those electric can openers everyone says are useless? I’d like to see them try opening a can by hand with my incapacities right now.
It took a while to enter this in. Peckpexkpeck. But I have to put the save point to disk.
Dammit. I may not be useful at work. My boss pulled me as the team contact on all external projects because I asked him to do so… dunno.
Spontaneous ∂erivation 
Hrm. I’d drop off meals to you if I could or do prep. I wish I could help you, even if I don’t know how. You do deserve it, you know.
I would eat the fruit out of hand, if possible. Most of the fruit that you’ve mentioned doesn’t need to be cut up (though it’s easier and less messy to eat this way). The weird little chopper gadgets tend to smash and crush whatever you put in. The fruit still has to be pitted anyway and if you’re pitting it, well, it’s one more knife-stroke to cut in quarters; it’d be more trouble to set up the chopper and whack it several times. You can use a mini-prep or a food processor to chop up fruit for fruit cups too after pitting (only a few pulses, they’re powerful but they work extremely well, unlike those tv gadgets).
If not, well, let it rot if you can manage going to the store for some different fruit that doesn’t need to be pitted or peeled. Or those little baggies/boxes of already cut-up fruit that they sell in the deli section. A few dollars of wasted fruit is better than you going to the hospital for a bad knife wound.
As Cori R said you do deserve it. Wish I was not a 1000 miles away.
Put the fruit in the fridge if it isn’t already there; it’ll keep better that way. Nothing comes to mind as a magic fruit-pitter, but the TV-gadget phenomenon is indeed for this kind of situation: the gadgets are designed for old people with bad arthritis, but the commercials don’t say that (they’re actually more respectful of their customers than any other type of ad), so younger adults don’t see the point.
And seconding the other two: you do deserve help, including up close. It’s just that the level of help you need is way beyond what most of us are qualified to give. We’re qualified for bandaging mild-to-moderate wounds on cooperative patients; you need someone who can deal with grand mal seizures.
Cori R.,
My head’s not on straight. Suggestions are always helpful. ^.^
Hmmm. I shall pick up grapes on the way home. They don’t need hulling, they’re really easy to wash, and I’m sure they’re a great source of some nutrient or other. Maybe raspberries, same deal, maybe even easier to eat.
And thank you.
Paul,
Thank you.
Wogglebug,
I would love a magic fruit pitter even when I’m well. I still haven’t gotten the hang of dealing with those things, except with apricots (where you can twist the halves).
And thank you.
Oo! Ooo! Here’s a treat: grapes, brie, and nice crackers, not too bland. For extra fun, pistachio nuts.
Grapes have highest concentration of sugar of any fruit, which has something to do with why they’re used for winemaking. Also why you don’t want to feed them to dogs. You probably don’t want to feed them to cats, either, but that’s mostly because of finding them months later well under the furniture, not through any danger of the cat actually eating them.
Aha. Just saw this come up:
http://bakingbites.com/2010/07/peach-pitter/ http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/peach-pitter-slicer/
Like one of those apple corer/slicers, but for peaches. Probably would work for other stone fruits as well. Quite tempted by it myself, as peaches give me such problems trying to pit them.
omg, Cori, how very Victorian! Well, the idea, anyway. If only it were done in silver, with etchings of fruited orchards around the rim, and tiny people picking from the tiny trees, dreaming hazily of their tiny pay envelopes…
pericat,
I stay away from cheeses, as I’m lactose intolerant, and vegan cheese is, shall we say… not there yet. But grapes, pecans, and pistachio nuts sound very nice.
Grapes also provide dietary fiber! So I can fill up my fiber requirements properly even though I can’t deal with heavy carbs.
Cori,
Oh my. I have to get that. Even when I can operate a knife, I have trouble with pits. They do NOT want to leave their fruit. Even the ones that are supposed to.
pericat: *falls over laughing* I love it! The tiny pay envelopes part just gets me. XD
Arachne: I didn’t think of this until now, but it sounds like TVP would be a good thing for you then as well – high in fiber and protein but so blessedly easy to work with. 1:1 ratio of TVP to water, add some sort of flavoring (ramen packet flavorings and taco mixes work surprisingly well, as do Better Than Bouillon or Knorr/Maggi powdered bouillon) and then do whatever. I use about 1/4 cup per person.
One suggestion: toss a quarter cup of TVP in with 1 rice cup (3/4 real cup) of rice in a rice cooker, 1 1/2 cups of beef broth and some mushrooms – same taste, but more protein and fiber.
Okay, my husband says I’m a bit mistaken with the TVP. Depending on how big your rice cooker is, the TVP can cause lots of bubbles and even froth to come out the top. (Which I forgot.) So he recommends to just to make the rice as usual, combine the TVP, flavoring (if any) and water (or broth) in a small bowl, then stir in the TVP when the rice is done cooking.
He also recommended beans for an easy protein addition, but unless you have a slow cooker for cooking dried beans, it’s probably best after next week or stick to canned so you don’t have to worry about paying attention to it.
Ah. Good thing to know. The TVP hasn’t arrived yet. I will use this method when it does. :)
I’ve got three rice cookers *is very proud* so beans are easy. I forgot that rice & beans is good. Complete protein and all that. Or something.
Wow, I’m jealous! :D But how do you cook beans in a rice cooker? I’ve never tried that – usually just boil them in a pot on the stove.
Ah. I meant three slow cookers. Although I also have three rice cookers. (2 died.)