We still need cows. Not that this is a bad thing.

A word to describe what I feel like when I hug the cows: anchoring.

If I try to expound further I’m going to start getting into the entire discomfort of touch where my family is involved, and how to this day I cannot be touched near or hugged around the neck without reacting as though someone is going to strangle me.

This is probably odd to people, because if they ever meet me and I know them, I usually will hug. But I don’t react well to people initiating the hugging.

I have huge problems with intimacy, because the only time I remember having to bear someone’s hot, sweaty, naked chest against my body is when I was trying to block my father from killing my mother. Repeatedly. Over years. Starting from when I was five.

Intimate relationships are problematic in so many ways for me.

Anyways, here are the cows getting ready to fly to Moo Moo Land.

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6 thoughts on “We still need cows. Not that this is a bad thing.

  1. totally off topic, but have you been doing fashion plates at all?

    Just because, GoFugYourself posted this photo and I thought, my fashionplates totally had that hair and outfit, back in the day. And that made me think of you.

    And, actually – I just searched the site for fashion plates to make double sure I wasn’t committing a serious memory lapse faux pas, and you have come so, so far with the brain weasels – your writing style when you tackle stuff is so much more comfortable, and I think your problem-solving style/speed seem better in the same way.

    • I haven’t been doing the fashion plates (or rather, Design Studio) lately. It seems to be a seasonal urge, but at least it can be satisfied. :)

      (I so need to move those pix to Flickr.)

      As for being more together… I feel like I’ve improved a bit. Sometimes life still gets dark (I’m having more panic attacks than flashbacks, although they’re still intimately tied to the paste… I’m not sure if that’s technically better).

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