So It Turns Out to Be Mostly Bipolar

The PTSD just comes along for the ride. Although it and the bipolar are having a hard time with spinning up hallucinations with the Abilify in the way, not that they don’t try really hard.

I’m on a leave of absence (unpaid of course), and I’ve decided to spend the days bettering myself in some manner and learning how to, somehow, deaden the anxiety attacks and other things. Somehow. I’m not sure how, except probably self-monitoring has a lot to do with it.

In the meantime, I’ve decided to call my project PB&J, or Project Bettering AJ.

Today I cleaned out part of the car in preparation for cleaning out the rest of the car tomorrow. This is so that I can start to donate a lot of junk in my living room to Good Will.

Every day from here on out will feature the following:

  • Cleaning something out.
  • Cooking/baking/etc. something for myself.
  • Reading/watching something entertaining. ((In other words, not Terra Nova.))
  • Reading/watching/doing something educational.

I will not take myself to task if I don’t finish the entire list, but it’s in order of time of day, with self-monitoring and meditation occurring as often as possible throughout the day.

And now… for a Liz Lovely cookie.

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4 thoughts on “So It Turns Out to Be Mostly Bipolar

  1. go team aj, you can do it! normally i hate trite sayings like “take it one day at a time,” but there’s actually something to it, i think. a step forward is a step forward, and a step backward can be retraced. (sorry, i’ll stop now before i mire us both in motivational poster adages. i’m rooting for you, though. :D)

    also, yay for cookies!

    • Thanks! :D And sometimes aphorisms are needed. It’s weird but reading a list of them in the morning has helped me a little in the past. I may need to start that up again.

  2. Sharing my experience in case it helps, but feel free to ignore if it doesn’t: I, too, found that taking myself to task if I didn’t finish the entire list never helped. But it helps if I think of the list as a handy reminder of stuff I’d like to do. Sort of like the bonus questions on a test: you answered one? Neat! Yay! but if you didn’t? Still fine.

    • That’s a good suggestion! I’ll do my best to think of them that way. Life is pretty daunting right now.

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