Yeah, so. Last night my PTSD came back, briefly really, but it hit rather hard. Pixar does their work very well… Toy Story 3 is, apart from The Incredibles, one of the most intense films that they’ve put out, and the fact that the original Toy Story and Toy Story 2 were among the first movies I watched after the violent split with my parents, there was some feedback and resonance going on.
So I threw up and couldn’t sleep due to nausea. I did finish a very good book, and the PTSD appears to be gone now (KNOCKS ON NIGHTSTAND), and I’m enjoying life and food again. As it was an unconventional night, I parked the smaller cows on top of the wedge and spent the half-mumbly morning running my hands through the soft chenille fur of Large Round Cow and Cozy Cow. I lay on or hugged Cozy Cow during the first part of the day, when I couldn’t stand much pressure against my stomach. (Or food. Or water. Sigh.)
The rest of the day, when I could eat something, I spent just hugging Large Round Cow. I tried to work (from home), but it’s hard to do so after a bad kind of night. I don’t have much hopes for tonight being normal, as I’m night oncall, so I can’t take the full complement of medication… sigh.
I’m going to go back to running my hands through chenille now.