I decided to make icons of them all.

Update: Somehow I forgot Flat Cow! She/he has been inserted inbetween the rest in rough timeline order.

The Overcow: the cow who started it all. She’s glamor-posing here. I tend to think of her personality as being somewhere between Susan Sto Helit and Adora Belle Dearheart. Possibly with a touch of Benjamin Sisko.

She’s a cow you just don’t mess with and the leader.

Ike came afterwards because I needed a traveling/commuting cow. And, as it turns out, a working cow. He’s very comforting, and has a kind of Shaun the Sheep personality, but less mischievous. Possibly.

He’s the most personable cow and the Lancer.

Large Round Cow (or the LRC, after the LHC, or Large Hadron Collier) is indeed large and round, and she’s just fine with this, although she would like it if society made less “fat” jokes. You’d think she was a bruiser, but she’s quite a kind bruiser.

She’s the tank of the party, as far as nightmares are concerned.

Cozy Cow arrived at almost the same time as Large Round Cow. Ze is the chameleon mage of the group, and can turn into a pillow at will. Possibly ze may fly in dreams, but regardless ze is the most comfortable cow to snuggle with, and that’s saying a lot. I often wake up with zir in my arms, even though I don’t start that way.

Ze is probably more classed as a cleric, or the second bruiser of the team who just happens to have some healing magic.

For a while, Lulu was the smallest cow, but that’s since changed. Her size-to-smile ratio is quite pronounced, which is useful when I’m showering—she’s a bath toy cow, but probably happy that the most she does is sit in the shower with me. (The shower’s still not a happy place, but it’s better. ((My father was… special in some regards.)))

She’s the thief. Undoubtedly the thief. Or possibly the assassin; what she does is pretty much wet work. Her smile is possibly a slasher smile, but as long as it’s not a nightmare…

For some reason, she works better against nightmares when she’s hanging off the drying rack I have set up in my bedroom. She is often wet, after all, but from that position she certainly does something to whatever might try to enter the room at night.

Of the Overherd, Valencia is actually the most fierce for her size. Think Toph, but much more cynical. She also keeps the little white pills I sometimes take when the anxiety of some part of the PTSD is getting to me, and she’s almost always with me wherever I go, hanging from the purse strap. (I often tuck her into an additional pocket on the side of the Timbuk2 bag, for security. I don’t want to lose her. She has the good drugs.)

She’s of convenient size and tends to be secured to a belt loop and tucked into a pocket on my jean skirt at work. No one gives her much of a second look, and I seem to have successfully moved onto little hugs. Although only Ike gives me comfort during high stress times.

Flat Cow, who I accidentally forgot, is quite an unusual cow. She/he ((Gender identity is a curious thing. Cozy Cow and Flat Cow differ slightly from each other in this respect, whereas the other cows are definitely he’s and she’s.)) is flat, for one thing. As a blanket, she/he has quite a few uses, not the least of which is lying across my lap or on top of the covers. She/he works best when either facing me or when looking off the side of the bed towards the window. I suppose most of the cows don’t do this, and someone has to.

It’s a strange thing, but for a while I was afraid of Flat Cow. She/he almost seems alien, and perhaps that’s what she/he is. I’ve grown fond of wrapping myself in Flat Cow in lieu or in addition to a house robe during the cold of winter.

Elmer is the Littlest Cow, barely smaller than Valencia, and also the newest addition to the Overherd. He’s still learning the ropes, and is highly cuddlable despite being so small. I think of him as an everycow. He works best with Lulu, for some reason.

He’s actually a Christmas ornament, so at home he hangs out with Valencia on the Timbuk2. He also knows the value of a good hat. ((Any plan where you lose your hat is a bad plan.)) Hmm. Maybe he’s got an Airman Higgs vibe ((I currently subscribe to the “Higgs is a kind of Jäegerkin” theory.)) to Lulu’s Zeetha.

I’m probably not going to do anything like the epic scale of Cleolinda’s The Secret Life of Dolls, because Cleo does it better and has been doing it for some time now. But some kind of storytelling exercise may help me obsess on the cows slightly, which will make it easier for them to enter my dreams. I think. Maybe.

This blog post was brought to you by the adverb “possibly.”