It’s Not Awesome But I Can Live With It

My goal is to have this week be full of awesome days even though those days would not be, textbook-speaking, awesome. Take Sunday, for instance, which is one of my hair-trigger days, and yet I managed to make large parts of it awesome.

Monday was more of a challenge.

Good morning Twitter. I am awake but tired. No nightmares! But a wistful dream about trying to find out what I really want to work for.
Mon, 14 May 2012 07:40:29 -0700

No conclusions were reached. At any rate, while yesterday was not completely awesome at all, I managed to discover awesomeness. Kept me sane
Mon, 14 May 2012 07:42:40 -0700

I had to make the awesomeness happen, and/or make an effort to notice and recognize it. Now I wonder if I can make a work day awesome.
Mon, 14 May 2012 07:43:55 -0700

First thing to note, it’s unusually sunny outside for Seattle. This means that I should enjoy it as much as possible. Get out of the car?
Mon, 14 May 2012 07:50:33 -0700

Up atop the ferry in the quiet room. It’s peaceful as we loll across the sound. I forgot what it’s like to be a passenger. It’s novel.
Mon, 14 May 2012 08:22:20 -0700

Back in my car. Seriously thinking about becoming merely a passenger again. Work has shuttle support on the other side. Hmmm.
Mon, 14 May 2012 08:27:44 -0700

So that was first good thing of the day. Now I get to head into work and attempt to deal with a foobar computer. No shame is attached.
Mon, 14 May 2012 08:30:13 -0700

After I drive in, I can’t work on my story (not that I did so this morning). So must take comfort somewhere else. But where? Maybe tea.
Mon, 14 May 2012 08:32:28 -0700

Keep holding onto twitter. Day will go alright. Or something.
Mon, 14 May 2012 08:34:30 -0700

Frustrating morning with a loss of a little composure. Will be a redundant afternoon with loss of time on the project schedule. Negative.
Mon, 14 May 2012 11:19:21 -0700

Positives: learned something for the next new team members. Will soon see pretty desktop again and work with a challenge. I’m strange.
Mon, 14 May 2012 11:20:59 -0700

Still going to keep up with my plans to go to a learning series today. And there’s beef pho to be had. Positives.
Mon, 14 May 2012 11:22:42 -0700

Pho is a definite positive for the day.
Mon, 14 May 2012 11:59:00 -0700

Basically I feel horrible for no reason right now, which is to be expected of the bipolar. I try to find positive things, even little ones.
Mon, 14 May 2012 15:22:50 -0700

I think I may take a walk while something is installing.
Mon, 14 May 2012 15:23:50 -0700

I never did get my chocolate soy milk.
Mon, 14 May 2012 18:48:32 -0700

Tuesday was rather more of a challenge.

A package of manga got misdirected somehow over USPS. I could let it spoil my day, but that would be silly. So I got GF DF muffins instead.
Tue, 15 May 2012 08:25:28 -0700

The skies are gray, and I’m going to miss home fiercely. Will see if I can arrange to leave work a bit early since I stayed late yesterday.
Tue, 15 May 2012 08:31:52 -0700

And I think I’ll work from home tomorrow? Maybe, although that gets into a dangerous no-people zone. Work feels unfriendly though.
Tue, 15 May 2012 08:34:45 -0700

I tried napping in the car instead of walking about decks. I’m now sleepy still, so note to self: get out of car, even if it’s cloudy out.
Tue, 15 May 2012 09:10:15 -0700

The bipolar is hitting hard right now. I almost broke down into tears for literally no reason at our team lunch, which wouldn’t be good.
Tue, 15 May 2012 13:04:30 -0700

At least it’s sunny. I almost always seem to need walks to get rid of the bad bipolar vibes. Too bad I don’t have a private office…
Tue, 15 May 2012 13:05:42 -0700

Can’t close the door and have a good cry. Really need to find a solution other than walks.
Tue, 15 May 2012 13:06:32 -0700

So apparently an alternative to walking around to resolve bipolar issues is to dig into one aspect of work that can get you into The Zone.
Tue, 15 May 2012 22:58:48 -0700

I’m doing my best to stay connected via Twitter, to find the positives in life (no matter how drudgy it gets), and to proactively make positive decisions—for instance, going on walks—when I’m feeling down.

Fingers crossed that I do okay tomorrow, where I work from home, away from people. But with Twitter, I should be alright. Or something. There’ll be plenty of laundry, too. Plenty.

I may end up taking a walk, or eating lunch out.

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2 thoughts on “It’s Not Awesome But I Can Live With It

  1. That’s some mighty awesome awesome-making! Can you handle stairs? I’ve found them to be an acceptable substitute to walking-all-around. Even someplace as humdrum as an enclosed mall can provide me with useful amounts of interactions-with-others as well as moderate excercise.

    • Stairs unfortunately don’t do much for me, unless they’re open ones out in the sun. :) I also suck at walking them—I’m very slow to go up or down, mostly due to memories.

      I love the quaint malls of the island. (There are really only two.)

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