Commit log #51

Paper money, extreme macro

It’s been a crap day. The bipolar/PTSD acted up, for reasons I can’t fathom. It wasn’t as bad as it could be… but it was still bad. No nightmares, just reaction.

And then as I worked from home something decided to BREAK ALL THE THINGS so that was a day wasted anyways… I couldn’t concentrate enough to get on with documentation, and so life was crap.

I’m so lonely these days, but I do my best to be brave against all the things, because I’m just me and the world is bigger than me.

Anyways, three good things.

1. Android: Netrunner. I’ve fallen back on this multiple times this week, but it’s frankly all I can do to find something good to do at the end of the day sometimes.

2. No nightmares. That counts as a good thing, right? Right?

3. Started level 1 of the Snowflake Method. It could work, or maybe it’ll be crap. I’m going to be optimistic here, because planning is something I need to do more often with my writing. Seat of pants just doesn’t seem to work for me.

4. I am not dead.

And… that’s all I got. Boo.

Thing I like about myself… well, I hate myself. Thank you for the encouragement, but I still hate me. I can’t help but think all the good things people say about me, all the good things about me supposedly, are just lies and self-delusion. Something to talk about with the bartender tomorrow. Along with a shit load of other things.

Tomorrow I’m going to hit Kinokuniya and buy all the Sailor Moon books I can.