Proving Grounds

Dreams are the proving grounds of the conscious. Or maybe it’s subconscious, I don’t know. All I do know is that I had pleasant dreams (unlike the constant nightmares I used to have) and at least two of them were about the future. They weren’t prescient dreams, because I’m sure those dreams wouldn’t involve a ceiling full of confetti, but a sort of stage for the mind.

I had been worried, given the months of drudgery and mismanagement, that perhaps my feelings weren’t linked to my position, but were a more general and cloying apprehension and fear. If so, changing my position would do nothing to allay these feelings, and perhaps I was in fact going to change nothing. They say that you can’t run from your problems, after all, and maybe the problems at work were both external and internal.

My dreams told me I needn’t have worried. They presented two stressful situations (fantastically stressful, but pretty damn stressful nonetheless)… and in both of them I was happy and content. Despite the madness going on around me. Sure, the Overherd was watching my dreams just to make sure things didn’t get out of hand (they were present at odd places in the dream), but things remained at a pleasant bubble of busyness and firefighting.

Meanwhile, my manager’s possible worst nightmare has occurred at work: his manager has just told his team that they can talk directly to her about any issues whatsoever at any time. So I get to find out in a few days whether he and she are in actual agreement about my finishing tasks or not. In a way I hope the answer is yes, because that would mean things are way less dysfunctional. If the answer is no, well. Yeah.